tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post748950896783280245..comments2023-10-11T04:09:53.564-07:00Comments on materfamilias writes: Great-Grandmothers and Grandmothers and Mothers, Remembering and Forgetting materfamiliashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comBlogger29125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-11518387291531247412014-12-04T19:28:14.380-08:002014-12-04T19:28:14.380-08:00I do not know how I missed this post - it must hav...I do not know how I missed this post - it must have been the Thanksgiving rush - and the associated cleaning of the house in the midst of house painting. In any case, thank you for the reference, and the kind words. I think you, more than many, will have lots and lots to say about this family in transition time, and I look forward to reading very much.LPChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18209861350905135093noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-14426711755032979592014-11-30T19:15:21.484-08:002014-11-30T19:15:21.484-08:00Your friend's explanation makes sense, and we ...Your friend's explanation makes sense, and we can definitely trace threads back through the years -- overall, though, we had the illusion the fabric itself was strong through its weaving-together . . . I hope your situation resolves positively. It doesn't look as if ours ever will. Take care.materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-59781374919359256762014-11-30T19:12:58.819-08:002014-11-30T19:12:58.819-08:00So much in those few lines, Miss C. Thanks for sha...So much in those few lines, Miss C. Thanks for sharing them -- the loss and the love intertwined.materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-90130332623200752172014-11-30T19:11:15.431-08:002014-11-30T19:11:15.431-08:00Yes. Just Yes . . . Yes. Just Yes . . . materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-23752726806101712152014-11-30T11:44:02.726-08:002014-11-30T11:44:02.726-08:00Thank you for a thoughtful and thought-provoking p...Thank you for a thoughtful and thought-provoking post. After losing our Dad several months ago, we too are experiencing an unexpected and bewildering family rift. One of my friends (a family counsellor) said she believes when the last parent dies, it's as though the blanket that has been covering the whole family is lifted back, and all the old resentments, fears, blame, etc., are exposed. And then...one either moves forward in a way that heals or the (perhaps) unseen rifts are exposed and deepen.... <br /><br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-75352130430474653612014-11-28T12:13:57.822-08:002014-11-28T12:13:57.822-08:00I am forever grateful to my grandmother, who cared...I am forever grateful to my grandmother, who cared for my mother when her body gave out long before her mind, at just 53. I was away at graduate school at the time, newly married, living in a different country, living on the pennies-a-month salary that graduate school adjuncts received, so I had neither the means to visit nor to help my mum out on other ways. Still, she'd tire out on the phone quickly, and return to my childhood for subjects, happy memories for both of us. I am sorry for your MIL's decline and also amazed to see how grown up Nola is becoming! Indeed, I didn't recognize her. . .Miss Cavendishhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17461488799928956875noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-30563883326426956822014-11-27T05:39:47.856-08:002014-11-27T05:39:47.856-08:00Reading GG's "confession" and your c...Reading GG's "confession" and your characterization of her, I sense this was a woman brimming over with love, and the generosity to show it both to her family and those kindergarteners. The inner self-what many think of as the soul-shines forth, even as the physical self falters. To feel and exchange love is, to me, all that matters in the last stage of our time here.Duchessehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09986153653120526776noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-39394576176157355472014-11-26T21:36:54.513-08:002014-11-26T21:36:54.513-08:00No need to apologize, and I felt a bit awkward mak...No need to apologize, and I felt a bit awkward making the correction. Thanks for accepting it so graciously. Hope your weekend is lovely as well -- stay warm in your "glamper" materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-16613834990663154932014-11-26T21:26:58.343-08:002014-11-26T21:26:58.343-08:00Of course it's with an e! My apologies. I don&...Of course it's with an e! My apologies. I don't think I can even blame spell check. Great way to remember. Have a lovely weekend. xoJenniferhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04723360304687997220noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-61962055537939934852014-11-26T20:42:24.885-08:002014-11-26T20:42:24.885-08:00It's an odd sensation, isn't it, yet so co...It's an odd sensation, isn't it, yet so completely to be expected, the grandchildren transforming to adults to parents to grandparents. . . . Life!materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-66901179777016823282014-11-26T20:41:26.156-08:002014-11-26T20:41:26.156-08:00Aw, thanks! Interesting thought, the move of some ...Aw, thanks! Interesting thought, the move of some forms of writing online. I'm still a big book-reader, but I appreciate the smaller packages of words as well, and the variety of voices we get access to through these blogs.materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-71623166367252237462014-11-26T20:40:00.391-08:002014-11-26T20:40:00.391-08:00Thanks so much for taking the time to give me this...Thanks so much for taking the time to give me this lovely, encouraging feedback. It's a fascinating, rewarding, challenging time of life, isn't it?! And don't we live in a wonderful place!materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-61126311206633791922014-11-26T20:39:00.473-08:002014-11-26T20:39:00.473-08:00Our losses have been somewhat more gradual -- the ...Our losses have been somewhat more gradual -- the intensity of your losses in two years and then the loss of your BIL plus a family asunder, that's tough stuff. This time together on your extended road trip is much needed, finally, I'm sure. xo Frances (with an "e" for female, as I tell my students. It's "i" for guy -- that is, the female version is spelt with an "e" and the guy's name gets Francis)materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-70609946200603906682014-11-26T20:35:50.295-08:002014-11-26T20:35:50.295-08:00The decline is tough to watch, isn't it -- I k...The decline is tough to watch, isn't it -- I know you grew close to Monsieur's mother and still miss her. But you're right, all this context makes me ever more sure that retirement is going to be a good thing.materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-18774654391898020422014-11-26T20:34:44.002-08:002014-11-26T20:34:44.002-08:00Interesting -- my mother and my mother-in-law both...Interesting -- my mother and my mother-in-law both seemed much happier (and sweeter, yes) as their cognitive grips loosened. . . .and yes, sad and inevitable. . . .but rich, isn't it all?! materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-90166030766776518502014-11-26T20:33:11.220-08:002014-11-26T20:33:11.220-08:00I've never made it, but I've been lucky en...I've never made it, but I've been lucky enough to get a gift of it occasionally. Are you planning to give yours away, Ceri, or use it in tarts and pies?<br />That's a bundle of woe in your family's elders, all so close together -- really hard to see. But I really like that blending of generations you enjoy at the lower end -- my little sisters are only 8 and 9 years older than my oldest daughter, so in some ways, they're aunts, but in others, almost more like big sisters. . . .materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-1805781432095241242014-11-26T20:28:49.586-08:002014-11-26T20:28:49.586-08:00Your brother-in-law got it absolutely right! And c...Your brother-in-law got it absolutely right! And curiosity and humour are certain to make the interesting journey much more palatable, maybe even fun!materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-10462247923423530332014-11-26T20:27:37.060-08:002014-11-26T20:27:37.060-08:00Thanks, Kristin. It's something, the way this ...Thanks, Kristin. It's something, the way this sneaks up on one so quickly -- you'll see, but not for another couple of decades. . . .materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-75939138816761513812014-11-26T20:24:41.854-08:002014-11-26T20:24:41.854-08:00Wonderful story in the making! I love it!Wonderful story in the making! I love it!materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-57003270234270970332014-11-26T16:38:39.016-08:002014-11-26T16:38:39.016-08:00Aging is such an emotional topic and you speak of ...Aging is such an emotional topic and you speak of it with the wisdom of one who has lived through some difficult yet tender moments. Our family elders are passing quickly and with them the threads that bind our family together. In their place, my generation, the "17 grandchildren" are now become the older parents, grandparents and the new generation of family elders. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-76245040763888334202014-11-26T09:32:05.365-08:002014-11-26T09:32:05.365-08:00^^ I agree. I love your writing and Lisa's. ...^^ I agree. I love your writing and Lisa's. When I was much younger, I read books about women's lives, e.g., May Sarton, Journal of a Solitude; Alice Koller, An Unknown Woman. Now this kind of wonderful writing is found in pieces on blogs - and probably in newer books, as well. I hardly ever actually read a book these days because of lack of time. I am always listening to audiobooks, when I'm cooking or doing laundry, exercising, going to sleep. So these fragments are perfect for me.Marienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-91540662850291999702014-11-26T07:38:44.140-08:002014-11-26T07:38:44.140-08:00Thank you for sharing this evocative and thoughtfu...Thank you for sharing this evocative and thoughtful post. I also want to tell you hoe very much I read and appreciate your blog. We are traveling very similar paths in terms of age, life, grandchildren, children and aging parents. As a long time reader but non-commenter, please know how valuable I find both your writings as well as the comments and contributions of the community you gave created. I live in the Pacific Northwest and also share your love for thus beautiful part of the world. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-55280473069845297542014-11-26T07:06:13.251-08:002014-11-26T07:06:13.251-08:00So very beautifully expressed Francis I prefer cog...So very beautifully expressed Francis I prefer cognitive impairment as a way to describe it as well. We lost all four grandparents within a two year span. The time was surreal, as we dealt with sudden, terminal diseases and one fatal slip and fall. I'm sorry to hear you're still dealing with a family riff. It's painful. <br />Since my brother in law died last August, my husbands family (mine for 36 yrs) has been torn apart. I see no repair possible.<br />You write so beautifully. <br />xo JenniferJenniferhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04723360304687997220noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-25371625201449958082014-11-26T05:32:15.019-08:002014-11-26T05:32:15.019-08:00As we watch our loved ones decline, we realize the...As we watch our loved ones decline, we realize the passage of time. It is so important to spend the time with our families while we can. Monsieur's mother followed the slower cognitive impairment path before she passed away. Sometimes she was insightful and sometimes just distant and forgetful. Your decision to spend more time with the little ones will bring you happiness and will provide them with a relationship with a healthy and relatively youthful grandmother.Madame Là-bashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16703782237948233124noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-28109129881481176512014-11-26T04:49:45.849-08:002014-11-26T04:49:45.849-08:00You write so movingly about the ageing process and...You write so movingly about the ageing process and your mother in law and she reminds me so much of my own mother before she died with vascular dementia. She was the sweetest thing at the end and all the slightly acidic comments just vanished. She was a primary school teacher too and adored little ones. <br /><br />It is sad to watch the slow decline of the people who have been so much a part of our lives and leads inevitably to much reflection of how to manage our own lives and relationships. Great post.Catherinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588437065757203375noreply@blogger.com