tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post6488785646508475026..comments2023-10-11T04:09:53.564-07:00Comments on materfamilias writes: Sleepless on the Island . . . materfamiliashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comBlogger32125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-37772221205062357712014-02-21T06:47:21.189-08:002014-02-21T06:47:21.189-08:00So glad you've found some relief -- you put my...So glad you've found some relief -- you put my occasional night in perspective. I love your words of advice "try and stop": -- emphasis on the "try," surely!! ;-) Enjoy your Half Term. (My Reading Week already has two meetings on the roster, unfortunately, and much of the Reading is Marking! ;-)materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-66169066893860978822014-02-21T06:43:16.619-08:002014-02-21T06:43:16.619-08:00So interesting about 3:19 -- whether the message c...So interesting about 3:19 -- whether the message comes from outside or inside. . . our brains and our receptive-sensory systems are fascinating.<br />And I agree that the Nana gig shifts my big-picture worries up a few notches. . .materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-20991618117430726822014-02-19T23:07:20.396-08:002014-02-19T23:07:20.396-08:00Dreams..I am a teacher too and up until December h...Dreams..I am a teacher too and up until December had been plagued night after night with similar dreams. Always trying to get somewhere (where?) by public transport but never making it - planes wouldn't fly, crowded trains, wrong platform - or driving a car without brakes on icy roads, riding a bike at night because I wasn't allowed to drive to work...absolutely exhausting. And then I would wake up and think about work and progress and standards and parents and children and, and, and. Finally ended up weeping in my classroom and being sent home by the doctor. It's simple really - it is all tied up with having to make deadlines and achieve targets and more, more, more. Also: it is always about 3am because that is the time our bods are at their lowest ebb physically. My only words of advice are: try and stop. I have reined it all in and decided to be more realistic and less personally involved. Hard, I know, in a people-centred profession. But, like you, am past my first youth and do not want to spend my later years as a madwoman. Good luck and enjoy Reading Week. Half term for us next week. Sleep, walking and general pottering on the menu.anniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09784336429060492455noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-6438796296507610182014-02-19T17:34:43.915-08:002014-02-19T17:34:43.915-08:00I started to have terrible dreams when I became a ...I started to have terrible dreams when I became a grandmother. I thought, at the time, that it had something to do with the terrible love I had for my grandson and my complete lack of power to protect him from the whole wide world. <br />The bad dreams subsided, but for some years now I have slept badly, waking at 0319. I'd love to know what is significant about 0319!!! I live in the country - no light, no noise - but something happens at 0319. A mystery.Pondsidehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02407539138546412482noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-25729339230797935972014-02-19T10:44:13.272-08:002014-02-19T10:44:13.272-08:00Somehow it's a consolation to know I/we have c...Somehow it's a consolation to know I/we have company, no? Thanks for sharing this -- I guess my response is similar to yours. As long as it's only the occasional night, I can reconcile myself to catching up occasionally. . . materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-60395544370922826472014-02-19T09:40:48.958-08:002014-02-19T09:40:48.958-08:00In our school staffroom of (mostly) heading-out-of...In our school staffroom of (mostly) heading-out-of-menopausers( !) sleeping well has become something people comment on with excited tones- as in" I slept so well last night!" It definitely seems to be problematic for those of us of a certain age.I have no answer-drives me mad.I've cut back on coffee, tried changing exercise to earlier time slots, read before bed, not read before bed, etc... The best I can do is console myself that, if I sleep poorly for a night or two, sooner or later I will get a good night's catch-up because my brain will just have to!Rosehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10595859864981209636noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-33916150472056197482014-02-19T07:25:15.617-08:002014-02-19T07:25:15.617-08:00Anxiety never seems to respond well to reason, doe...Anxiety never seems to respond well to reason, does it, once it's taken up residence in our bodies. But your approach seems wise -- translating that emotion into reason through a physical act. It must have been a horrid year, and you must be so glad to have it behind you. Thanks for the suggestion which I may very well adopt. And yes, isn't that photo happy-making?materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-76797582544536855932014-02-19T07:23:05.066-08:002014-02-19T07:23:05.066-08:00Yikes! Poor husband indeed. I'll have to tell ...Yikes! Poor husband indeed. I'll have to tell mine how lucky he is. . . ;-)materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-56630149881861903382014-02-19T07:22:09.602-08:002014-02-19T07:22:09.602-08:00This makes much sense, Eleonore. My dreams do incl...This makes much sense, Eleonore. My dreams do include that component of the forgotten or lost child -- very often, there is also forceful imagery involving me driving in very difficult and dangerous conditions as well, . . I'm glad you found the significance of your own dreams with such a clarity that they actually stopped. I hope mine do the same as I gradually (I hope) puzzle out their meaning. Thanks for taking time to come back with your comment.materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-14199414957408154832014-02-19T06:43:40.128-08:002014-02-19T06:43:40.128-08:00I had a difficult year with some nasty people in m...I had a difficult year with some nasty people in my life and had those awful anxiety dreams too frequently. Lost weight unexpectedly because the fear stayed with me during the day. I did all the right things (exercise, socail life, meditation) and knew that the situation in no way warranted my extreme reaction. But there were some annoying and frustrating things going on. The recommendation that helped me was to physically write down what was upsetting me before I went to bed.....but to also write down the calmer, kinder, more logical answer. Helped me sleep through the night....not change the situation but eventually that did change and I usually sleep fine nowadays. That lovely Paris picture is full of the love and sunshine that you can feel inside of you.Jane Mhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10236298438179825569noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-71296005429314145732014-02-19T06:10:43.584-08:002014-02-19T06:10:43.584-08:00I'm joining this conversation a bit late, but ...I'm joining this conversation a bit late, but I also have those dreams that waken you and do not seem to dissipate easily. I have always thought mine were generated by the need to squeeze too many tasks into too little time. They don't occur as often as when I was still teaching, since there are fewer "balls in the air" these days! My worst dreams have me waking up yelling (not exactly screaming) which scare the you-know-what out of my husband. I'm lucky in that I usually fall right back asleep. Not my poor husband, though...who has to spend time reading himself sleepy again.<br />Love that picture of Paris. It makes me smile. <br /><br />Sue B @highheelsinthewilderness.blogspot.cahttp://highheelsinthewilderness.blogspot.canoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-38595662353976068152014-02-18T23:49:59.489-08:002014-02-18T23:49:59.489-08:00OK, here's what happened to me: I used to have...OK, here's what happened to me: I used to have bad dreams for quite a while. The subject was roughly the same always: in my dreams I suddenly realized that I had forgotten some child or cat(s) I should have looked after. So while I struggled to get to my charges, finding ever more absurd obstacles blocking my way, my guilt any panic used to mount until I would wake up frantic and with all the physical sypmtoms you describe. Neddless to say, not once did I manage in my dream to find out the real consequences of my neglect.<br />As I found out in the end, the dream was not about being a bad mother or cat carer (which I am not) but about not caring for myself enough. The feelings of panic and desperation belonged to the neglected part, in the dream taken over by children or cats. As soon as I realized that (and with that I mean it made "clic" in my head and I KNEW this was the right expanation) the dreams stopped never to return again.<br />Now the dream that you describe seem to me to mean something like LOST or even ABANDONED. Is it possible that your weak and helpless side (which we all have) has been left to its own devices lately and is weeping in the dark? (Sorry for this. I don't know you and I certainly don't want to intrude.)<br />As for lying awake at night, I always keep some mildly interesting newspaper or journal articles next to my bed. They normally send me back to sleep within half an hour or so.Eleonorenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-68286660054362392102014-02-18T13:50:23.420-08:002014-02-18T13:50:23.420-08:00You may indeed say that. . . these kinds of conver...You may indeed say that. . . these kinds of conversations are such a relief, I think, exactly for letting us know that we're not alone. And you're right that it's best not to get into a state about it as that only worsens the worry. I'm pushing myself through, today, and making myself get to my Pilates class is going to take a bit of self-talk, but I'm hoping that a good stretch, a nice light meal, and then a good night's sleep will get me back on the right path again. Maybe I'll even dream of walking my bike up a Paris street with a friend. Sigh . . . ;-)materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-20713183459479671712014-02-18T13:47:56.782-08:002014-02-18T13:47:56.782-08:00Not sure of the source, but I also try that trick ...Not sure of the source, but I also try that trick of getting chilled as much as I can stand -- part of what wakes me (and perhaps, as you suggest, is the discomfort that induces the wake-me-up panic dream) is overheating. Getting up seems to give me a chance to reset the body thermometer.<br />If we find that word, we'll need to trumpet it . . . many of us, I suspect, are homesick for Paris even though we've never been lucky enough to call it home.materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-90614206888990630542014-02-18T13:45:38.338-08:002014-02-18T13:45:38.338-08:00It is an awful sensation, isn't it? I find it ...It is an awful sensation, isn't it? I find it rather frustrating that it persists at a gut level even when my brain/mind knows I have nothing so worrisome that it can't be worked through . . . except for those big ones that I'll never be able to change anyway. . . Rationalism doesn't cut it at 2 a.m., sadly. . .materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-45560615417711175592014-02-18T13:43:37.649-08:002014-02-18T13:43:37.649-08:00Permission granted! I look forward to hearing what...Permission granted! I look forward to hearing what you'll have to say.materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-59451343383906157502014-02-18T13:43:06.150-08:002014-02-18T13:43:06.150-08:00Being able to sleep is a good talent, so definitel...Being able to sleep is a good talent, so definitely don't tempt fate on that one. . . I'm chuckling sympathetically, though, at the notion of you muttering away in bed at the party up the street.<br />As for the photo -- I'm glad you love it as much as I do. I was so pleased to have captured it as it evokes just what you say and I find it such a comforting image of a possible old age not so very far off. . . materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-48293481981963442732014-02-18T13:41:02.407-08:002014-02-18T13:41:02.407-08:00I would allow myself as much vivid dream and sleep...I would allow myself as much vivid dream and sleep-talking as I could manage if only myself would not wake me up! I suspect that leaving work would make a difference, but perhaps not as much as I might hope . . . I do find that keeping the drinks down to one makes a big difference (no alcohol was drunk yesterday . . . )materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-34463353005573634652014-02-18T13:39:08.909-08:002014-02-18T13:39:08.909-08:00You're probably right that the day's stres...You're probably right that the day's stress over my wallet played a part, but I had a similarly poor sleep on Saturday -- and that was after running 30 kilometres! I do try conscious meditative breathing, but I suppose I need to persist longer.materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-32609385206323295252014-02-18T13:37:33.292-08:002014-02-18T13:37:33.292-08:00So you multiply your sheep -- I like that! ;-) (an...So you multiply your sheep -- I like that! ;-) (and may I guess that mia is a granddaughter and "nini" is your family version of Nana or Grandma? I love the name!)materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-16249329081018526892014-02-18T13:36:33.373-08:002014-02-18T13:36:33.373-08:00There are a few family things at the moment, but m...There are a few family things at the moment, but much is a fairly predictable mid-term generalized anxiety, I think. . . And I do try to hold onto the comforting notion that it's part of hormonal shifting which will eventually settle. . . materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-3292552394428937292014-02-18T13:35:17.439-08:002014-02-18T13:35:17.439-08:00I should perhaps keep my ipod and earbuds by the b...I should perhaps keep my ipod and earbuds by the bed, at the ready. . . . Perhaps an audio book . . . Thanks for the suggestion.materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-45086507912511075382014-02-18T13:15:38.310-08:002014-02-18T13:15:38.310-08:00Can I say that I'm a bit relieved to know of y...Can I say that I'm a bit relieved to know of your anxiety dreams? I thought I was the only one. They've just started recently, in the past six months or so and are truly wretched. I awaken feeling like something is seriously wrong although I often don't remember the dream itself. I am thinking that the dreams relate to my back issues somehow - when my back is bad the dreams are worse. <br />I find it very difficult to return to sleep. I pray, I think, I recite. I've learned to not worry when I can't sleep because that only heightens my anxiety. Getting up for a bit often helps. The day following is difficult, but I comfort myself by thinking what a wonderful sleep I'll have that night.<br />Your photo is delightful. Paris. Sigh. Lorriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03653026442945027184noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-34575108950578599242014-02-18T09:59:15.940-08:002014-02-18T09:59:15.940-08:00I've surmised that my bad dreams tend to go al...I've surmised that my bad dreams tend to go along with waking in a panic and feeling some sort of not-rightness in my body; I think my predictable little brain responds to the uncomfortable physical feelings by producing imagery that is at least equally uncomfortable. I am happier with this explanation that with the psychological notion that I am repressing thoughts or feelings too terrifying to deal with while awake. My solution is to get out of bed and drink a glass of water and get as thoroughly chilled as I can bear before climbing back into the warm bed - relaxation follows as I become more comfortable, and sleep often comes after that. And thanks for that charming photo - I am homesick for Paris (which has never been my home, but there is no other word for it, unless you know of one?).Marshahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14035642478179187618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-51484895729246661262014-02-18T09:50:21.508-08:002014-02-18T09:50:21.508-08:00I also use yoga breathing on those nights that dre...I also use yoga breathing on those nights that dreams chase me back to wakefulness. It's such an awful sensation - sorry that you're struggling with this intrusive anxiety.ilonahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09549380953245364444noreply@blogger.com