tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post5657927757365316368..comments2023-10-11T04:09:53.564-07:00Comments on materfamilias writes: Memories and Some Sartorial Splendourmaterfamiliashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comBlogger28125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-4590878351584419422013-02-08T06:23:31.328-08:002013-02-08T06:23:31.328-08:00We must hope and trust, I suppose, unless we surre...We must hope and trust, I suppose, unless we surrender to despair. And truly, there is so much in the world that does console, if we can find the energy to look. Currently reading Mark Doty's Dog Years, a wonderful meditation/memoir on loss centering on Doty's beloved dogs but also concerning his negotiation with death and mourning of a beloved partner as well as numerous friends. I suspect you'd find it nourishing or at least cathartic right now.materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-39438537334710950212013-02-07T11:30:05.599-08:002013-02-07T11:30:05.599-08:00Dear Mater - I read and was so moved by your post...Dear Mater - I read and was so moved by your post and was about to leave a comment when my phone rang, with the news I have now written about on my own blog. Thank you so much for taking the time to leave a kind, thoughtful message when your own memories were so close to the surface. But, of course, you understand and, yes, every winter does change to spring.<br />60 going on 16http://www.60goingon16.typepad.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-58734201442019449902013-02-06T16:40:32.250-08:002013-02-06T16:40:32.250-08:00It does sound as if the condition is the same -- w...It does sound as if the condition is the same -- we have always wished the doctor had told my parents so that care might have been taken, but my brother was old enough, at 19, to keep the knowledge to himselfmaterfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-67187703018075540302013-02-06T16:39:18.324-08:002013-02-06T16:39:18.324-08:00My oldest was born the same year, so your comment ...My oldest was born the same year, so your comment made me gasp at the pain I could instantly imagine. I'm so sorry for your loss, and I hope that there are memories that bring some consolation. The loss of a child, I'm sure, is a loss that never finds "closure"materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-29882345439395728312013-02-06T16:37:43.083-08:002013-02-06T16:37:43.083-08:00We were on such different paths at the time, but s...We were on such different paths at the time, but still -- I've always wondered how we might have woven them together, with time.materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-68101950798030189572013-02-06T16:36:53.317-08:002013-02-06T16:36:53.317-08:00Precious beyond words. . . Precious beyond words. . . materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-9822671644813922972013-02-06T16:36:34.479-08:002013-02-06T16:36:34.479-08:00Those old photos are stunning, almost literally, a...Those old photos are stunning, almost literally, aren't they -- slides even more so when you see them projected.materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-19843053047397071352013-02-06T16:35:52.659-08:002013-02-06T16:35:52.659-08:00The last stanza gets me every time. The speaker tr...The last stanza gets me every time. The speaker tries so hard to arrive at trust/faith through reason, but finally you can see how vulnerable he feels, the anguish is clear -- night-time, an infant, crying. . . .and for a poet to have "no language but a cry" . . . devastating!materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-82059347762568437932013-02-06T16:34:15.558-08:002013-02-06T16:34:15.558-08:00It is/was sad -- I often imagine who he might have...It is/was sad -- I often imagine who he might have become. . . .<br />I haven't tried memorising poetry for ever so long, and a few on-line friends (Twitter buddies) were talking about it. It's been good so far, but it's early days . . . materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-29475444146531770902013-02-06T16:33:02.670-08:002013-02-06T16:33:02.670-08:00Remembering and memorising -- both worthwhile exer...Remembering and memorising -- both worthwhile exercises in their own ways.materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-43076812318236149082013-02-06T16:32:03.617-08:002013-02-06T16:32:03.617-08:00Raw -- yes, that adjective works.Raw -- yes, that adjective works.materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-59912768047285259592013-02-06T16:31:37.736-08:002013-02-06T16:31:37.736-08:00Oh, you were so young when you lost him -- how tou...Oh, you were so young when you lost him -- how tough! Take care, will you?materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-85549727456899118812013-02-06T16:31:07.026-08:002013-02-06T16:31:07.026-08:00What a lovely thought -- it's tough to give up...What a lovely thought -- it's tough to give up some of those special garments. I've still got one of my dad's, 12+ years later . . . materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-40739641428721173322013-02-06T16:30:13.015-08:002013-02-06T16:30:13.015-08:00Don't mind at all -- a friend said exactly the...Don't mind at all -- a friend said exactly the same thing and she's almost convinced me.<br />Not a wink of sun up here -- I'll try to imagine it!materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-13658347117397532892013-02-06T16:29:05.223-08:002013-02-06T16:29:05.223-08:00Yes, that notion of closure is a suspicious one, f...Yes, that notion of closure is a suspicious one, for me. I think we manage the wounds, but they never really close. Take care.materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-4610685237007929362013-02-06T14:37:34.727-08:002013-02-06T14:37:34.727-08:00Such a loss for you, for your entire family. As I ...Such a loss for you, for your entire family. As I recall this is the brother you lost to the same heart condition my son has. A very beautiful memorial to him. Duchessehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09986153653120526776noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-85423617296218540272013-02-06T13:36:10.975-08:002013-02-06T13:36:10.975-08:00It's a lovely photo wrapped in and around memo...It's a lovely photo wrapped in and around memories precious to you - thanks for sharing it all with us. Our oldest daughter was born in 1976 and died 11 years later. We can all attest to the muddling of memories as the years pass but such losses are still keenly felt. ilonahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09549380953245364444noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-68916392129038386282013-02-06T11:19:32.345-08:002013-02-06T11:19:32.345-08:00I remember you talking about your brother's il...I remember you talking about your brother's illness on Duchesse's blog. I am sorry too, Mater, it must be hard living without your dear brother.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15711792521348799922noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-881333708418158152013-02-06T08:02:28.134-08:002013-02-06T08:02:28.134-08:00So sorry for your loss, no matter how long ago. Si...So sorry for your loss, no matter how long ago. Siblings are so precious.LPChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18209861350905135093noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-68517048314861195862013-02-06T06:54:33.640-08:002013-02-06T06:54:33.640-08:00Your loss andy our post brought tears to my eyes t...Your loss andy our post brought tears to my eyes this morning. I am glad to see that you have a picture with happier memories that accompany it. Last year my brother scanned and distributed family slides that I hadn't seen in maybe 40 years and it truly is a bittersweet experience.Jane Mhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10236298438179825569noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-52620252397615678372013-02-05T20:52:38.608-08:002013-02-05T20:52:38.608-08:00How sweet to see that old photo of you and your br...How sweet to see that old photo of you and your brother. There is such poignancy in the last stanza of the poem. Loss and grief are great equalizers of the human condition.Lorriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03653026442945027184noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-26222924468409780302013-02-05T19:43:58.740-08:002013-02-05T19:43:58.740-08:00How sad to lose a brother so young. My younger bro...How sad to lose a brother so young. My younger brother is one of my very best friends ... <br /><br />And I am inspired by your aim of memorising a poem a week. The closest I'll get is trying to read some poetry every week. <br /><br />May our trust be rewarded ...Tiffanyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11536212906241844509noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-53351276423692437362013-02-05T17:45:48.898-08:002013-02-05T17:45:48.898-08:00Those old photos are such treasures, especially wh...Those old photos are such treasures, especially when we have lost someone precious. I haven't memorised poetry for many years. I think it's a lovely memorial fro your to undertake - and very good brain exercise.Pondsidehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02407539138546412482noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-81147273329820677732013-02-05T16:13:58.820-08:002013-02-05T16:13:58.820-08:00Beautiful photo and a beautiful post. (It's su...Beautiful photo and a beautiful post. (It's such a raw time for you...) xoK.Linehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15350615302797686048noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-50257396240705750692013-02-05T14:20:13.706-08:002013-02-05T14:20:13.706-08:00What a beautiful photo of you and your brother! I&...What a beautiful photo of you and your brother! I'm sorry for your loss. I find the month of February to be emotionally difficult, as it marks the anniversary of my father's passing in 1999. Raquelitahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13138113830990586689noreply@blogger.com