tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post449096670145553340..comments2023-10-11T04:09:53.564-07:00Comments on materfamilias writes: A little Melancholy, and its Antidote, in Romematerfamiliashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comBlogger46125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-64474098660071401362016-02-07T10:57:58.070-08:002016-02-07T10:57:58.070-08:00That's true . As an only child I learned early...That's true . As an only child I learned early to wander around exploring everywhere on my own ... with occasionally rather narrow escapes, in retrospect !SmitoniusAndSonatahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11210817141287881808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-70687372151786342922016-02-07T02:07:58.494-08:002016-02-07T02:07:58.494-08:00That sounds awful, I live in the UK and when I tra...That sounds awful, I live in the UK and when I travel with my partner who has a long term chronic illness but "looks well" we always book assisted travel on planes and trains and get great help. However I think once you get outside of capital cities people are more likely to be generally helpful so do give the rest of the country a try if you can bear to come back! Maureenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14221562562178023635noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-77691796104928515802016-02-06T14:34:45.996-08:002016-02-06T14:34:45.996-08:00meant to say, as well, that your return to profess...meant to say, as well, that your return to professional acting sounds like a very interesting twist on "retirement" -- very cool!materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-2308687143882282262016-02-06T14:33:53.739-08:002016-02-06T14:33:53.739-08:00I do find that solo travel, when you're in a r...I do find that solo travel, when you're in a relationship, can easily be constructed as something to feel guilty about. I never had the experience of being an only child (oldest of 12!!), but like you, I quite revel in the freedom from other's needs when I'm on my own. And I'd be sobbing down the phone, too, if someone would only answer. As I say, I fondly remember the old days when someone had to answer the landline, no option to shut off the phone...materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-70971565638971221352016-02-06T14:30:15.946-08:002016-02-06T14:30:15.946-08:00You always strike me as resilient and resourceful,...You always strike me as resilient and resourceful, and I imagine you'd shake yourself out of melancholy quickly enough. I know that you and George traveled considerably together but that you weren't able to in your last years together, and I imagine that figuring out how to accommodate your own wanderlust in your new single state will be a challenge with rewards, eventually. I think I prefer some companionship as well, but because I crave regular bouts of solitude, it has to be the companionship of someone independent enough to give me that -- I get pretty squirrelly if I don't get time to myself, and I so appreciate Susan Cain's legitimising my introvert preferences... ;-)materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-18575580143847592242016-02-06T02:33:41.834-08:002016-02-06T02:33:41.834-08:00I really enjoy solo travel but it's a slightly...I really enjoy solo travel but it's a slightly guilty pleasure and since post "retirement" I've gone back to professional acting I'm getting to do a lot more of it. Though I am very extrovert I am also an only child of a single parent who had lots of time as a youth doing exactly what I wanted to without having to pay much attention to the needs of others (partner, grown up children, elderly relatives, distressed friends etc) So when I'm away I get to be that only child again. Of course when stuff goes wrong I'm sobbing down the phone to my long suffering partner............Maureenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14221562562178023635noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-70561330582584095612016-02-04T04:28:41.499-08:002016-02-04T04:28:41.499-08:00I sometimes have difficult downtimes with solo tra...I sometimes have difficult downtimes with solo travel but I haven't much experience of being solo outside of English-speaking lands, so it would be difficult for me to say. Usually there is a bit of upset, then a drive to pull myself out of it and get out, which always makes me feel better. I've come to the conclusion that I really prefer companionship, someone to share the journey with, but since that is currently not an option, I'm not quite sure where my travels will lead me. Of course, if I had a child in a distant land, I'd be off whenever I could and I'd be needing to find my own ways around the occasional bursts of tears.Mardelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04850551308931710502noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-35437752181589410872016-02-03T21:46:31.909-08:002016-02-03T21:46:31.909-08:00Oh yes! And I'd walked too much for a couple o...Oh yes! And I'd walked too much for a couple of days in a row, instead of allowing a catch-up day. Not sleeping well/enough doesn't help. . . Thank goodness I got a bit of rebound before having to contend with this big travel day home. . . materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-977013143875001622016-02-03T21:44:27.354-08:002016-02-03T21:44:27.354-08:00I feel pleased I recovered quickly, thanks to Rome...I feel pleased I recovered quickly, thanks to Rome's fascinations, but you're so right about the comfort of someone who knows me so well, my "shorthand." I wonder if I would have indulged the mood longer, though, rather than shaking myself out of it....materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-68819606814155017462016-02-03T21:42:49.363-08:002016-02-03T21:42:49.363-08:00Exactly! They're part of life at home, and the...Exactly! They're part of life at home, and there seems no clear way to leave them out of the suitcase, so . . . materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-39807123598692061882016-02-03T21:41:38.708-08:002016-02-03T21:41:38.708-08:00Aren't they wonderful floors? It was actually ...Aren't they wonderful floors? It was actually a huge workshop, with a few goods displayed in the window, and I called my enquiry in through the doors and was invited in. . . I have a few more pics -- such a great space with tools beautifully organised everywhere. And yes, do tell us more about your Indian trip!materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-25050199983242513692016-02-03T21:39:12.175-08:002016-02-03T21:39:12.175-08:00A momentous trip, one that must have been worth a...A momentous trip, one that must have been worth all the challenges, but those are some big challenges!<br />The cup of tea approach is a good one, but part of being away from home is that it can be so much harder to get that cup. Here, for example, I can brew a cup in my hotel room, but that's rarely the case in N.A., and in restaurants, it's often made with water that might as well have come directly from the hot-water tap, never visiting a kettle on its way. I take milk with my tea, but make do in this room with the little plastic cream container which doesn't quite come up to a Forza! One thing for sure, though, these travel experiences help us appreciate the beauty of our simple comforts and my first cuppa back home will be appreciated even more than usual!materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-61519031509386678112016-02-03T21:34:48.526-08:002016-02-03T21:34:48.526-08:00I was met by the driver my daughter's family u...I was met by the driver my daughter's family uses, who carried a big sign with my name on it -- a complete novelty to me, although I know everyone does that these days -- and it was so comforting after a long trip. He'll be driving me to the airport today as well.<br />I love your idea of inventing a persona for yourself -- what fun! and why not? That's what solo travel allows us, if we choose (or we can bring takeout back to the hotel room and hole up with Netflix -- I know someone who might just have done the latter ;-)materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-71090191762191601272016-02-03T21:31:36.613-08:002016-02-03T21:31:36.613-08:00Ugh! I can see why you'd chalk that up to expe...Ugh! I can see why you'd chalk that up to experience and never want to chance repeating. And I thank you for thinking me brave. I don't feel it, but need to channel my Inner Brave Girl for the travel home today. Two huge airports, potential for missing connection, security checks, potential scolding by all manner of airline employees, etc. etc. Not looking forward to it at all!materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-16353982606623545122016-02-03T21:29:30.599-08:002016-02-03T21:29:30.599-08:00It's true -- there's always a sense one sh...It's true -- there's always a sense one should be doing more. I've mainly managed to go easy on myself and allow some quiet evenings. Even afternoon nap and tea in my room when, really, there are museums and galleries I haven't visited yet. . .materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-81105288475367571932016-02-03T21:28:00.275-08:002016-02-03T21:28:00.275-08:00Thanks, Lorrie. Re bracelet, see my reply to Beth,...Thanks, Lorrie. Re bracelet, see my reply to Beth, above.materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-39971971971162811942016-02-03T21:26:32.319-08:002016-02-03T21:26:32.319-08:00This is so true, Elizabeth. I've had the same ...This is so true, Elizabeth. I've had the same "attack of longing" when back in my room after a day of sessions at an academic conference. Here, I've got family just up the street, and it still hit. I think, ultimately, it's a good thing to nurture my ability to get through these solo times, and I love much of the freedom, but I also miss the companionship and comfort and security. And HA! to use your splendid description, Paul is also "master of the functional phone call" -- but only when he actually is in the vicinity of his cell/ mobilematerfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-89992463223108678422016-02-03T21:22:19.848-08:002016-02-03T21:22:19.848-08:00I did end up writing in my journal, in fact. It...I did end up writing in my journal, in fact. It's a good way of exploring the feeling which helps me move past it. The melancholy or anxiety or whatever "negative" feeling we experience in an otherwise "good" trip is simply part of the whole, isn't it? As for the bracelet, it's simply a narrow length of leather that wraps my wrist a few times before buckling -- I'll be sure to get a photo of it when I get home, and I'll post it...materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-44678627287288827312016-02-03T21:19:19.313-08:002016-02-03T21:19:19.313-08:00Perhaps I should get using Skype. Pater is not on ...Perhaps I should get using Skype. Pater is not on Apple/Mac so he doesn't do FaceTime, but I could set up Skype and have that face-to-face contact. Managing time zones is tricky, though -- I'm sure your mother must appreciate the contact when you're away.<br />Yes, those episodes that bring us to tears, or nearly, but then you managed very well in Mexico City in the end -- you're an intrepid traveler!<br />Netflix is a boon -- I read a lot as well, as you know, but sometimes the voices in the room are a welcome change ...materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-15809243189340042382016-02-03T21:15:49.143-08:002016-02-03T21:15:49.143-08:00This is my feeling overall as well. The trade-off ...This is my feeling overall as well. The trade-off is worth it, and I won't give up solo travel because of these moments, but I find it useful to be aware of them and try to anticipate what to do when they arrive. It helps very much to know they've happened before, they pass, I manage... I'll be watching to see what you reveal about the trip you are contemplating...materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-90002062450924769242016-02-03T21:13:50.836-08:002016-02-03T21:13:50.836-08:00;-);-)materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-3579773287836861972016-02-03T21:13:32.463-08:002016-02-03T21:13:32.463-08:00Georgia, I feel this too -- I love the buzz of cit...Georgia, I feel this too -- I love the buzz of cities, but I remember especially our only trip to NYC many years ago -- I kept feeling that I needed to get to something NOT concrete.<br />Here in Rome, I've been lucky to have the Borghese Gardens so close, and yesterday, I tucked away for a little while in the lovely grounds of the Palazzo Barberini, remarkably quiet. And the lemon and orange trees everywhere calm and nourish (not literally, yet, although it's so tempting to reach up. . . )materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-85183169740944069982016-02-03T21:11:07.773-08:002016-02-03T21:11:07.773-08:00Thank you, I hope I stay Found as well, especially...Thank you, I hope I stay Found as well, especially during today's foray into the wonderful world of flights and airports and traveling across many time zones. . . Don't want to be consigned to the Lost Luggage room for as long as my daughter's cases were a few years ago! ;-)materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-85859480970822477112016-02-03T21:09:17.330-08:002016-02-03T21:09:17.330-08:00This is a good approach, building in some social d...This is a good approach, building in some social days to your alone travel -- especially for a 6-week stint, I can see how important this would be, even if it means giving up some of the freedoms you enjoy for the solo part. I've had my daughter and her family for company if I need that, but still, there's something about the huge distance from my other half that reveals some existential realities... materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-10282944991262477672016-02-03T16:05:05.556-08:002016-02-03T16:05:05.556-08:00You usually have a travel dip and rebound (and alw...You usually have a travel dip and rebound (and always regain your sea legs!) For me, it happens when I push too hard and the smallest thing then reduces me to fits. And FaceTime, when possible, has helped with "missing you" malaise. Duchessehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09986153653120526776noreply@blogger.com