Saturday, March 12, 2016

Sitting with my News -- Changes...

This last week has been stressful, I'm not gonna lie! But you have been so thoughtful and supportive, and it seems a good time to sit back and admire the Trevi Fountain together while I catch my breath and share some news. If, that is, adding a video directly to Blogger (rather than taking the usual sidetrip to YouTube) will work. If not, perhaps we can just sit together and admire my attempt at taking you to the Trevi Fountain via an iPhone video I took of it early one morning at the beginning of February.

Two pieces of news: the specialist's appointment will lead to other referrals several weeks out, and whatever treatment options are deemed necessary or wise will be laid out then, but meanwhile, all sounds very encouraging.  It may take a while for the new perspective to be integrated with all its ramifications, but Pater and I are standing down, for now, so to speak. Handing that story's reins back to its real driver and leaning back with a big whooshing exhalation in our own seats, several carriages over... Forgive the odd and mixed metaphors.

As for the story whose reins belong in our own hands and over whose speed and direction we are trying to maintain some control? Well, we signed the papers yesterday to begin the process of listing for sale our home of almost 25 years. The photographer comes in next week along with a measurerer; the sign hasn't been put up yet, but soon the physical and virtual advertising will lead to a procession of realtors with prospective new owners and, undoubtedly, the odd looky-loo or two.  After all my cryptic notes and evasive teasing, I suppose you might expect to deserve more words about this, but as you might well imagine, I can't manage them today. There will surely be a flood as I process emotions and memories and reasons and doubts and second guesses over the next several weeks.

But for now, it's a day for yoga in town and then a visit with a friend who knew me in the house before this and, I'm sure, will continue to be my friend whichever home I make next. Poor thing, she's in for it today. . .

Time to go sit with my cup of tea and enjoy the stormy View Out There from my big armchair. I have to store this up in my memory bank. . . Oh, and as I sign off, one loud lament -- How did Daylight Savings Time sneak up on us? The clocks leap forward this weekend? Please, say it isn't so! Yes, I do love having light long after dinner, but having that hour yanked from under my feet has always unsettled me, and I don't find it gets easier with age. Although this year for the first time, I don't have anywhere I need to be first thing Monday morning when 7 o'clock will still feel like 6 o'clock. . .  As some of you will, I suppose. . . Does anyone else get as grumpy about the Time Change as I do? Perhaps we all just need to go back for a few more seconds to sit and admire the Trevi Fountain...

41 comments:

  1. Yes, the Trevi fountain video worked! Thank you for sharing.

    Change is hard, of course. Moving forward, leaving behind and all that. Glad you had a bit of a head start with your retirement.

    You have done a beautiful job of sharing your home and surroundings on the island through your blog. I feel as if I have been there and will miss the gorgeous scenes (especially as I live in the desert). But you have your online journal to return to when you need to see those views again.

    Looking forward to reading your thought process on all this. Thanks for putting it all out there!

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    1. Thank you so much, Kim, and glad you enjoyed the fountain (the video lost something in the technical translation). It's true that I'll be able to scroll back through this blog to revisit the island. And by then, I'll be posting about the new home we'll be making...

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  2. There it was, the Trevi Fountain in all its bubbling glory - well done!
    You will dredge up the strength to get through whatever is around the next corner.... specialists, look-loos, hour lost and all. Friends will help - lovely that you will be with one today.
    Sometimes life just seems like TOO MUCH but there will be many,many little pleasures, I know. Keep on breathing and watch out for them because they will give you what you need to get through the next months with a reserve of energy and a sense of humor.

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    1. Feeling so much more relaxed today. Just getting through/over the barrier of articulating the new or the upcoming helps. And I will definitely be watching for the small, quiet delights, both the accidental ones and the ones I will make for myself. Thanks!

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  3. Hi Mater, as you know, we have moved a lot over the years (including putting 5 houses up for sale), so I think I know something of what you are going through. However, it is different to be selling a house that you have lived in for so long. We have never been that emotionally tied to any of our houses, but your situation is very different. I wish you all the best in the coming weeks. At least you can be happy that there are no little kids in the way to undo all your tidying and staging!

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    1. Good point! We've sold houses that were full of kids to fingerprint the windows, and that's no fun! Also much easier to go for a long walk on our own while prospective buyers come through than to wrangle a whole family out the door....Thanks for the perspective and the good wishes.

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  4. DST sucks! I'd prefer the light in the morning because I find it very tricky to get up before sunrise. (At sunrise, I can do.) So it's back to square 1 for me tomorrow. And congratulations on your new life adventure! Look, I'm incredibly change averse about my environment so I get your apprehension. Honestly. I come from a tribe of nomads who move constantly and when I was 18 I said: That's it, I'm getting off that train. (I've lived in the same house for 16 years and I'm 45.) I understand what it is to love what you know and to love it because you know it. And you live amongst tremendous beauty.

    But let's look at the flip side: It's isolated. It's hard to get to and fro. Your people don't live there. You're not close to immediate health care. You don't have ready access to the culture you love so much (food, theatre, music). Furthermore - you live in a GORGEOUS part of the world, hard stop. It's going to be pretty wherever you end up (if perhaps not so bucolic). Now is the time to shed unnecessary responsibility and to be as light as you can be. I'm very happy for you!

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    1. Wow! You've lived in that house longer than I've ever lived anywhere, and at my age, it's not likely that will change! But you're right. No matter how many ways or times we came back at making this decision, it was obvious the move had to happen at some point and I want to pour good energy into making a new home that I love. No better time than the present. I hope. Thank you!

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  5. "Encouraging" is good news about the specialist's appointment. :). Change of residence after 25 years can be a mixture of emotions!
    We are looking (but not yet taking any steps) after 30 years in the same home. We are still waiting for some medical test results from our elder son living in Seattle.
    Timing. Waiting. Opportunity. Challenge. All part of this life. I type that with optimism. :).
    Thanks, as always, for sharing. Have a blessed day!
    Charlene H.

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    1. I so hope those test results are encouraging. As for thinking about a move, it's good to begin considering it a few years out, I think, especially after such a long residence. Take care.

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  6. I hate daylight savings time but then I am an early riser, and I treasure the morning light.

    Leaving our home of 27 years felt, in some ways like I was abandoning a part of myself. I knew it was time to go, and, afterwards, the truth of that was all the more evident. I waqs more ready for the change than I realized at the time. I hope the same for you, although I know this process will be, at times, difficult. More hugs, and enjoy your day.

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    1. I do find the morning light comes back pretty soon -- one thing about where we live is that the sunrises are easy to track. But I guess I have a delicate circadian rhythm because it takes the better part of a week to adjust generally.
      Your move has been a good example for me to follow, truly. More loss involved, of course, with your husband's passing, but as I hope to do, you were and are able, as your energy and enthusiasm and health returned, to pour it into building a new home, getting a chance to redefine yourself in the process. Thanks for the hugs -- sending some right back to you. xo

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  7. Hi Frances ...glad that the news re the medical situation in your family seems encouraging ..I've been thinking about you all ...
    I can totally empathise re moving house ..I think it's a brave and exciting move which I'm sure causes many mixed emotions as it's been your family home for so long. As well as being in such a beautiful and unique spot.
    We've lived in our present home for around 30 years. It's only the second home we've had and the only one our children have known! We totally remodelled it about 10 years ago ...living on a "building site" for over a year ... I can't imagine it not being our home. Although I would love some time living somewhere else, in particular a small village in Switzerland that I feel a huge emotional pull towards ...at times almost feeling "homesick" for it.
    To comment on the post that you almost deleted where you talked about the pros and cons of Island and City living. I think perhaps when an increase in one or the other happens it makes one appear a more viable option. My home doesn't have amazing views ..something I'd like, ideally looking out onto mountains and water too if I was lucky! However, it's in a beautiful small town and I love that we can walk everywhere ..to restaurants, the theatre, bars, shops, doctors dentists etc. there's rarely a day when I cross the bridge over the river that I don't feel as though I'm on holiday ...I feel blessed to feel like this.
    I think we re all presuming you'll move to the city ...although I did wonder about France for a while! :) being closer to your family will be a real plus ...that's what would probably stop me actually moving to Switzerland as family is so important to me. As I can tell it is to you.
    I feel as though I've gone on a bit today :) I just wanted to share my feelings ... I really hope this all goes smoothly for you and as I said to a friend recently ..finding a new place to live that you really love and want to live in will surely help the pain of leaving your present home.
    Take care ...thank you for sharing this with us.
    Rosie

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    1. Thanks so much, Rosie. How lovely that your children have had one home all their lives -- wouldn't Kristin (above) have loved that?!
      We've been very lucky to have had what some might consider the best of both -- island and City living. But that back and forth! Fine when we were younger, but it becomes wearing, and since the kids are in the City, and family really is more my Home than is a physical space, we'll look for the compensations in picking City over Island. As you suggest, it's about balance. (like you, I fantasise about living as an ex-pat, in France, maybe even Italy, for at least six months, perhaps a year, but the grandkids...)

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  8. Me again!! Thanks for sharing the video of the Trevi Fountain. Good to imagine being in Rome for a while. Especially as when we visited the fountain was empty of water and surrounded by scaffolding!
    Rosie

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    1. Glad you enjoyed. It was scaffolded our first two visits as well, and my husband still hasn't seen it...

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  9. I get very grumpy with time changes. I'm off anyway due to 2 hour difference from
    Oaxaca so maybe this will improve things. Up at 5:00 am right now and tired by 9:00.
    I enjoyed the Trevi Fountain. Have fun with your friend.

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    1. Take care as you adjust to the time change (and the big weather change!)

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  10. I'm not at all fond of the time change. I wish the powers that be would simply decide on one or the other and leave it.

    I hope, for your sake, that your island home sells sooner rather than later to avoid the in-between stage of waiting, waiting, waiting. We humans are not very skilled at waiting well. It's a challenge.

    The big city holds so much of your heart and moving there makes such good sense. Change is never easy. With every gain comes a loss of one sort or another.

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    1. We've never had to wait long to sell before, but we haven't done it for decades, and this is a different market. I'll be glad when we've got to the next change and can begin to enjoy the gains that compensate, as you say, for the losses. I know there will be many. Thanks.

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  11. All sorts of changes and Daylight Savings Time, too!
    Losing that one hour makes me tired for at least a week!
    Moving is rough, even when it's the right thing to do.
    Best of luck.

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    1. Thanks, Sunnlitt! And welcome to the blog. So pleased you took time to comment.

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  12. Our clocks spring forward in a couple of weeks and, as I write, it is lovely and sunny outside. Finally. The move: a good thing, ultimately. I know we are all very invested in vintage and memory and family and yadayada but we should live as we need to, not as we did. Somewhere smaller and more central is what is calling now. Home is where you want to be, I think. Not where others perceive you to be. Right now, Trevi fountain is where I would like to be. Enjoy the views and the big chair, dreaming your dreams for the next step.

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    1. You've got it! Ultimately, the move will be right for us. As is lightening up, in many ways.
      And yes, I'd be quite happy right next to that fountain again...

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  13. One of the advantages in traveling at this time of the year - I miss both sets of daylight savings, arriving back in Canada to nothing more than jet lag :) sending best wishes to you and yours x

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    1. Yes, you'll hardly notice that one hour among the eight! It looks as if you're having a splendid time.

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  14. So glad for you and for all concerned that the medical worries are calming down and there is a Plan. Continuing to think of you and hoping all goes well.
    Our clocks don't go forward until 27 March, and I've always welcomed it as do most people I know. Here in Scotland it's another step up the steep slope towards spring. Perhaps it helps that it's called British Summer Time, although that always leads to much ironic comment because the change of time usually coincides with a spring blizzard.
    Ah your move. We will have to compare notes as we go. We will be moving soonish - a year, 18 months/2 years? in the opposite direction to you, from a city centre house of 24 years, (albeit with garden + allotment) to a small village in the north of Scotland. We are happier in the country, and have roots there, but it will be farewell to walking everywhere or hopping on buses that run every 10 minutes, choice of restaurants, cafes, shops, several specialist hospitals. I am almost at the stage of standing outside my everyday life and seeing it moving away from me into the past. Not quite - still too long to go and too much to do here, but I am moving into the borderlands. So strange, this conjunction of time and space.

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    1. For us too, this time change is quite often a precursor to one last blast of snow and ice (we've had scarcely any this year). In fact, it was blown in by a big windstorm!
      This is what I'm moving into, now, "standing outside my everyday life and seeing it moving away from me into the past" As well, I begin to see it through other's eyes, sorting our "stuff" as we get the house ready for others to traipse through it, evaluating. . . Very strange indeed, and yet so common. . . thanks for the thoughts!

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  15. The spring forward event is celebratory for me; it means
    we've put another cold Québec winter to rest. The kids used to sing a song at garderie, "L'hiver, l'hiver, c'est bien fini!" I like the season but after 4 months, enough.

    I'll be eagerly following the move news. Concerning your Patient, hoping each effective step proceeds briskly.

    So much before you and Pater, and I am thankful you are not handling a stressful job on top of all this.

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    1. I can imagine that anything moving you one step closer to Spring, even if it's only in concept, is very welcome back East.
      And you're right -- much gratitude for being retired right now.

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  16. I had to see the fountain in my mind's eye, due to some deficiency in my tech set up, but still enjoyed it, thank you.

    Delightful to have encouraging medical news, but what an emotional roller coaster.

    DST - as a kid it was something old folks complained about, which I never understood. Now it disrupts my schedule/feelings for about 2 weeks. Which means I'm one of the old folks, I guess....

    Best wishes as you start your move journey, and sympathy around the ongoing change-pains (like growing pains, perhaps).

    ceci

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    1. It's not a great transfer of the digital data -- your mind's eye probably did just as good a job. It was a glorious moment I enjoyed there though.
      Yes, I couldn't understand it at all when younger, but as one of the undeniably old folks, it bugs me now.
      Thanks for the good wishes and sympathy. Growing pains, yes!

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  17. Your answer to Annie in last post has quieted my worries about your Child-everything would be fine!
    Your elegiac island photos solved the mistery for me long ago. You were living in a fairy tale-but,congratulation,you've made clever and brave decision. All the right moves.
    And timing is perfect for you and your family.
    Moving is a tough game but I am sure that you will make a home from your new house/apartement,enjoying the process
    Dottoressa

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    1. It has been a fairy tale, and I'm so glad we made the (risky at the time) move over 20 years ago, but we do believe it's time to try another adventure. Thanks for the encouragement. Looking forward to checking out urban life and a smaller space to clean!

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  18. And my heart skips the beat this morning reading your post about clock change :-)
    I had to check once again that it is here two weeks from now !!!
    I love it ( after the first night's steal of one hour sleep)!
    D.

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    1. Honestly, I was shocked to find that ours was this past weekend. I almost missed it. And yes, I do love the longer evenings as well, once my body adjusts...

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  19. Very happy to hear that the patient is hearing good news. And for your move, ah well, I'll be here if you ever find you'd like to chat with a far away friend. xox.

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    1. Thanks, Lisa. And the same goes for you, with all you have going on right now, stuff I've lived through a version of. xo

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  20. Hello! Visiting your site from Instagram (and Twitter, previously). Wishing you the best of luck with upcoming changes.

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    1. Thanks for stopping by here, Laura! And thank you for the good luck wishes. Change is good, right?!

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  21. Catching up with blog reading and very interested to hear you are moving house. Despite some apprehension, you sound ready for the change. I look forward to reading about your new home x

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I'd love to hear your response to my post. Agree, disagree, even go off on a tangent, I love to know you're out there, readers. Let's chat, shall we? I apologize, though, for the temporary necessity of the Word Verification -- spam comments have been tiresomely numerous lately, and I'm hoping to break that pattern.

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