Friday, October 29, 2010

Working to the Light

Still working to find the happy. And it's here, in small doses, if I look hard. Light on the horizon and all that.

Evidence that even in winter there will be life -- these Mahonia japonica buds will burst into a yellow wheel of fragrance sometime in January or February.

And yesterday's fierce battle to keep my tears in check in public (I lost, but not for long) was balanced by two wonderful visits with really engaged, bright students -- one, going through his own tough stuff, nevertheless kept up his side of an intense discussion of critical theory's place in his sorting out a relationship with the world; the other, a student I taught over a year ago, stopped by for tea and a long talk about what language and writing mean to her, a poet and avid reader, and about the possibilities for adventure that she sees in this century's many challenges. Both students moved me because they live with such integrity, rejecting the programmed and superficial obvious. They give me hope. And hope makes me happy. But you knew that, right?


  1. And then there are always weekend jaunts to California;).

  2. Hope makes me happy too. Also, seeing your garden and reading of your happiness also makes me happy.
    Hope your weekend is filled with more stuff that makes you happy.xox

  3. Working to find the happy is sometimes the hardest part - if you can manage that, you know you'll resurface. Hang in there and I hope lots more happy finds you. (Your students sound wonderful.)

  4. there are little bits of happiness everywhere and you are still finding them....all my best to you

  5. My sweetie Martin is a teacher so I know what you mean about students with integrity. They always make him feel hopeful!

    Have a beautiful weekend.

  6. mater,
    I wish for a break in the bleak for you...and soon.

    Hugs X

  7. LPC: Seriously, I'm thinking about this . . . have to wait 'til term's over, but I'm really wanting to meet some of my blogging friends, IRL.
    LBR: And you too, my dear!
    Tiffany: And a Happy New York to you!
    F>50: There really are, aren't they, if you only look. . .
    Susan T: Integrity and young earnestness is an inspiring combo . . . have a good weekend as well.
    Hostess: I sense it's very close, thank you! Enjoy your new kitten.

  8. I can hear your contribution to their engagement and integrity and hope you do, too.

  9. You've had some major life changes to deal with in the last few months, what with your mother's situation and Pater retiring. Now that the flurry is over, it's not surprising that your emotions may be catching up. It must be so rewarding to have those kinds of encounters with your students!

  10. Oh, and I second LPC's motion....

  11. Duchesse: I did really feel good that the ex-student had contacted me to see if we could meet up -- I must have done something right there. And then today I had another catch-up e-mail from a former student. I'm so pleased when they take the time to let me know what they're up to now.
    Pseu: There really has been so much going on this last year. . . as for LPC's suggestion, which you're seconding, I'm thinking seriously about it . . .


I'd love to hear your response to my post. Agree, disagree, even go off on a tangent, I love to know you're out there, readers. Let's chat, shall we? I apologize, though, for the temporary necessity of the Word Verification -- spam comments have been tiresomely numerous lately, and I'm hoping to break that pattern.

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