tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post476527565513031881..comments2023-10-11T04:09:53.564-07:00Comments on materfamilias writes: Down and Up, Up and Downmaterfamiliashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-59355423629753894032011-08-17T16:49:00.191-07:002011-08-17T16:49:00.191-07:00OWW: That's a good comparison, to a migraine. ...OWW: That's a good comparison, to a migraine. I've convinced my husband that it's not something I can will my way out of, that it feels as if I've been giving an injection of something -- I can feel the change at a biochemical, even cellular level. I feel so lucky that I've never suffered for more than two, at most three, really intense days, before I felt my normal biochemistry returning. Can't imagine how folks manage who get hit more seriously.<br /><br />And thanks so much for commenting -- I'm always so happy to hear from new visitors.materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-43357680163457423792011-08-17T07:51:59.267-07:002011-08-17T07:51:59.267-07:00I always could tell it was coming on - the sky wou...I always could tell it was coming on - the sky would look like it was a different colour. And not in a good way.Weird in edgewisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16314111344887318425noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-66918364912436126272011-08-17T07:51:18.767-07:002011-08-17T07:51:18.767-07:00I used to have episodes like this - it's almos...I used to have episodes like this - it's almost like a migraine, isn't it? Good for you for sharing this experience with us - you have lots of company.<br /><br />And just as with a migraine, it's no "failing" if you can't just, you know, spirit your way out of it. Anybody who tries to get you to "think positive" or some such nonsense should compare it to a migraine. It's real, and very difficult.Weird in edgewisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16314111344887318425noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-54410943101465476272011-08-17T07:14:49.904-07:002011-08-17T07:14:49.904-07:00Terry: Yes, I usually prefer to keep these moments...Terry: Yes, I usually prefer to keep these moments to myself, but I worry about the effect of only showing the sparkly parts of my life. And yes, sleep, nature's nurse, knitting up the ravelled sleeves of care, or something like that.<br />And you've hit exactly what is probably part of the fuel here -- returning to work from what is called a Research Leave at our institution, rather than a Sabbatical -- so there is an expectation of what I will be laying out. I feel I've done much that will show up in the classroom and I've managed to get some writing done, submit some, get some accepted, but not sure that will be enough. Plus the freer time I've had makes me dread the intensity of 4/4 teaching. I'm glad to hear of your experience, even just to help me prepare and to know I have company -- thanks!materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-49062042235145487112011-08-16T21:13:31.992-07:002011-08-16T21:13:31.992-07:00I only know that when such moments hit me that it ...I only know that when such moments hit me that it is probably time to journal rather than blog. The second option is to sleep.<br /><br />I also know that it is psychologically trying to return to work after a sabbatical. The year I took off I didn't want to return and though I had a burst of creative energy, the culture of the college rejected most of what I thought I'd gained by the sabbatical. I hope your experience is better.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-27106011037930161282011-08-16T20:14:33.480-07:002011-08-16T20:14:33.480-07:00Mardel: Sounds like we share some patterns. You...Mardel: Sounds like we share some patterns. You'd think I'd know by now how to manage this, but I'm not sure I can regret the ups, even for the downs. Take care of yourself during this busy, stressful time.<br />Tiffany: So you know well of what I speak. I do think it's true that being open about these episodes (without dwelling unduly on them) can dispel the kind of unhappiness we create when we imagine others' lives as so much better than our own. So I do my little part. Sorry you hit a teary patch, but I do love the image of you making Kid 1 his morning cuppa. Doesn't seem that long ago I used to do that for my Kid 4, when he was in his very late teens. He was so appreciative, too -- now I'm getting teary . . . <br />Lisa: Hey sweetie (giggles from babycakes) -- you know how to cheer me up. And yes, I know exactly what you mean and know there's no meanness at all. And the sun did shine brightly today, although this damn coldsore is turning into a whole weird colony, a life form all its own. . .<br />Kristin: You're spot on about the cold sores. The biological and the psychological and the mental are so tightly interwoven. The herpes simplex, of course, of cold sores, is related closely to chicken pox, and by the time all four of mine had gone through this, one thing I recognized about the illness was the (approx.) day and a half of serious crankiness. The mood's repetition so consistently across all my kids seems relevant to my experience of cold sores. I'm seriously guarding my immune system against the possibility of Shingles which my father, my paternal grandmother, and at least one paternal aunt all suffered from. Do not want to go there. Meanwhile, I look like I have a growth on my lips, and it won't even have peaked until tomorrow. Now THAT's something to be depressed about!<br /> ;-)<br />L'Age: And the interesting thing is that once I've succumbed, the waves of fatigue just keep on coming -- makes me realize how much I've held back beyond that "not surrendering" gate. No superwoman here, more's the pity.materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-44722644073537405862011-08-16T18:54:11.748-07:002011-08-16T18:54:11.748-07:00Glad to hear it's acute and not lingering. It...Glad to hear it's acute and not lingering. It's funny how it comes upon you (and me) and just takes the pleasure out of everything. I sometimes think it's like succumbing to flu, a sign the body or in this case the mind/spirit has had enough and needs to shut down for awhile. Your courage to shake yourself out of it and go out for the play is admirable. That is tough when the mind is so distracted. And retail therapy, absolutely. Nothing better. Look forward to your find(s).L'age moyenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03297717031402619963noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-83726099847284118692011-08-16T18:06:49.066-07:002011-08-16T18:06:49.066-07:00My experience of this takes the form of intense an...My experience of this takes the form of intense anxiety. It's horrible - so unpredictable, so overwhelming. I have little advice except to say that, if you can take the long view - even in that horrible moment - you are so ahead of the game. (I don't feel so ahead of the game.)<br /><br />Quick thought (that might be totally stupid, but I'll throw it out there): Cold sores are the outcome of an active virus in the nervous system - the virus lies dormant in the nerves, until something activates it (getting run down, the extreme fatigue of anticlimax?) and the type of pain that ensues is very deep, very innate. I have friends who suffer with cold sores (suffer being the apt word) and have described a kind of depression, an intense malaise and unease, that precedes the onset of an outbreak. It's like the nerves are literally frayed.<br /><br />Giving you good vibes xoK.Linehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15350615302797686048noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-39431851150140072732011-08-16T16:36:33.420-07:002011-08-16T16:36:33.420-07:00Jane: Thanks so much for your comment. It helps to...Jane: Thanks so much for your comment. It helps to know, sometimes, that we are not alone, doesn't it? It's funny how the movement works, because in the depths of a bout, it feels next to impossible to move. Music sometimes help, being such a mood-shifter, but again, it depends. It's true, isn't it, that as bloggers we tend mainly to write the good, at least partly because during the bad there's little energy to spare and once we're out of it, we don't want to risk looking back. Thanks again for the kind words.<br />Hostess: I remember you writing about dealing with something similar recently and hope you've mended. We're back home now and yes, I've been sitting in the sun with a cup of tea, one last day before heading to campus tomorrow. Thanks so much.<br />Susan: Ugh, cold sores! But as Paul says, at least my body gives me some clear early warning signals. Ignore at your peril, as they say! You take care!<br />Anonymous: Thanks for the suggestion -- I'll see if I can find some tomorrow.materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-53316616284037681882011-08-16T16:08:57.508-07:002011-08-16T16:08:57.508-07:00Well hello there babycakes:). You do know it makes...Well hello there babycakes:). You do know it makes you all the more appealing, in a way. Which sounds kind of mean on my part, but I hope you know what I'm talking about. Anyone who can be so thoughtful as you is unlikely to have a uniform response to life.<br /><br />Now, that said, I have no doubt this was crashing after so many high points and so little time to yourself. I could imagine you might want to curl up all alone with a book for some time.<br /><br />I appreciate you telling us all this. And hope the sun is shining more brightly ever day. oxox.LPChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18209861350905135093noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-36718782254931444612011-08-16T16:03:38.873-07:002011-08-16T16:03:38.873-07:00Jillian, Given your more chronic health issues, I&...Jillian, Given your more chronic health issues, I'm really appreciative at you reaching out so quickly to reassure. That kind of generosity is what I associate with you, though, so I'm not surprised. Thank you.<br />Sue: So true, that kind of familiarity helps v. much -- and you being a Renaissance buff with a feel for the music and dance might also help. The company has a wonderful voice coach, and I really feel that's made a difference over the last few years so that even with my hearing issues, I can catch almost all the dialogue.materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-81084389404777508372011-08-16T14:05:41.236-07:002011-08-16T14:05:41.236-07:00I am sorry to hear the black dog got you - I hope ...I am sorry to hear the black dog got you - I hope the bite is healing well. <br /><br />Depression runs in my family, right down to attempted suicide, so it's not something I take lightly.<br /><br />Like you, I tend to succumb when I've been overdoing it - this morning I burst into tears when making Kid 1's cup of tea ... <br /><br />Thank you for sharing. Sometimes feeling that everyone else's life is an unending parade of happy times can make one maudlin also :)Tiffanyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11536212906241844509noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-52152410255878322011-08-16T10:56:12.814-07:002011-08-16T10:56:12.814-07:00I'm sorry that you had such a visit from the b...I'm sorry that you had such a visit from the black dog. I am subject to bouts of depression too, usually brief and intense, not the long drawn out kind (although I did that once not so long ago). I tell myself it is the balance required because I can go off the wall with excitement as well, but perhaps I am just fooling myself.<br /><br />I don't have advice. For me it often comes after periods of intense stress, where I have been neglecting some aspect of my inner nature. I just had a big dose of it the latter half of this past week. I think it was necessary. I had been busy busy busy, and I tend to go through an intense need for quiet time after family visits. I love my family and the time spent with them, but it took me a long time to stop feeling guilty about the way I needed to just be left alone after a period of intense togetherness. I don't always pay attention to brain wiring modes, but have learned that being a right-brained introvert in a family who are all left-brained extroverts takes a toll, and if I don't heed it, I crash. <br /><br />Of course this week I am all too aware of how much I haven't gotten done concerning putting this house on the market. I'll probably crash again.<br /><br />Take time and let yourself relax a bit before the duties of the school year fully commence.Mardelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04850551308931710502noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-66957201094849509342011-08-16T10:36:32.936-07:002011-08-16T10:36:32.936-07:00May I suggest Abreva for the cold sore. It works w...May I suggest Abreva for the cold sore. It works wonders and cuts the time into 1/3.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-44165410260487311492011-08-16T09:52:46.209-07:002011-08-16T09:52:46.209-07:00I'm sorry to hear those black dogs visited you...I'm sorry to hear those black dogs visited you this weekend, but am glad to hear that Shakespeare lifted your spirits and that you woke up feeling better this morning, despite the cold sore.<br /><br />I also get cold sores when I'm experiencing stress. <br /><br />Depression tends to bother me when I feel my life lacks direction and purpose, that's why I keep seeking meaningful life roles. Otherwise, stress can bring it on, like that one day last week when the markets tanked. It can be hard to stomach the news at times.Susan Tinerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11900811284963063686noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-9712587302065459762011-08-16T09:02:40.581-07:002011-08-16T09:02:40.581-07:00Fatigue definitely hastens the blues.
I am sorry t...Fatigue definitely hastens the blues.<br />I am sorry that you have had to experience this sadness.<br />One does need to feel sorrow in order to feel joy.<br /><br />Getting outside in the fresh air is a wonderful tonic and seeing that play with some humour must have been a godsend.<br /><br />Retail therapy has got to be good!<br /><br />I hope that you will rest up, maybe you could have an at home spa day or just cocoon with some tea and gaze out over that beautiful waterfront.<br /><br />Take care,<br />Hostess<br />XOhostess of the humble bungalowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06453827257671312902noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-81132078306584877342011-08-16T08:03:38.965-07:002011-08-16T08:03:38.965-07:00Your bouts sounds somewhat similar although mine a...Your bouts sounds somewhat similar although mine are also filled with a low level anxiety that taxes my energy and creativity. And yes, sometimes movement is the start of pushing the negative energy out of my body. T<br />hank you for this post. I know it's not easy because I believe that as bloggers we want to share the good things in our life, support one another in our particular endeavors and widen our circle of acquaintances. Yet we also face the challenge of becoming real in our writng, to ourselves and to others. I believe your blog does this admirably.Jane Mhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10236298438179825569noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-28121636312401104502011-08-16T07:50:24.364-07:002011-08-16T07:50:24.364-07:00My husband has periods of depression and, even aft...My husband has periods of depression and, even after 14 years of marriage, I have a very difficult time trying to deal with it. It's not as you describe your bout. It's more chronic and subversive (if that makes any sense). It results in a very lethargic, non-speaking, non-communicating, just plain depressing person to be around. I am a mosty upbeat, energetic and optimistic person and it really sucks the life out of me to be around him when he's like that. It's a constant struggle for me trying to figure out how to deal with it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-28246510686740739952011-08-16T07:43:05.230-07:002011-08-16T07:43:05.230-07:00I'm sorry to hear about this bout of depressio...I'm sorry to hear about this bout of depression, but glad that you're coming out of it. I feel fortunate in not having experienced severe depression. I know many who have and it's a bear. (Some days, the bear eats you.)<br /><br />"Merchant of Venice" sounds wonderful. I appreciated Shakespeare so much more once I had a better grasp of the period language and picked up more of the puns and humor he used.Susan Bhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16005855250089328310noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-62905306670229531272011-08-16T07:20:34.372-07:002011-08-16T07:20:34.372-07:00So sorry to hear about your blue dog. Glad the epi...So sorry to hear about your blue dog. Glad the episodes are short! My only lesson on this front is that no matter what you want to do or feel that you must do, your health and quality of life come first. Sounds easy, but I know it's not :)jillianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05864066847052675219noreply@blogger.com