tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post202392377616261793..comments2023-10-11T04:09:53.564-07:00Comments on materfamilias writes: It's Beginning. . . . Spring is On Its Way (and bringing some continuing thoughts on Retired Life)materfamiliashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comBlogger34125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-77844161262812369622017-02-28T09:18:13.188-08:002017-02-28T09:18:13.188-08:00I didn't know about Kirstenbosch Botanic Garde...I didn't know about Kirstenbosch Botanic Garden, but I've looked it up, and I can see it must be magnificent to walk in. Even if you don't go every week ;-) (and yes, I'm beginning to see what, push and shove having sorted it out, I might really want to do Enough to not do other things....materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-21981217787627394522017-02-26T14:57:40.451-08:002017-02-26T14:57:40.451-08:00Still finding a balance between All The Things I T...Still finding a balance between All The Things I Thought I Would Do, and what when push comes to shove I actually want to do.<br />We walked in Kirstenbosch, up the steep slope, too hot. Wound down thru the forest to lunch by a pond, where we were joined by a family of Egyptian geese.<br />A good day! And I thought we'd go to Kirstenbosch every week ;~)) Diana Studerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12286066768376135880noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-2733377421954410242017-02-23T07:04:26.991-08:002017-02-23T07:04:26.991-08:00You're so welcome, Rosie, and thank you so muc...You're so welcome, Rosie, and thank you so much for letting me know that the blog matters to you. Much appreciated!materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-19732839877629167452017-02-23T07:01:23.136-08:002017-02-23T07:01:23.136-08:00I hear you, Carol, re the fatigue your work brings...I hear you, Carol, re the fatigue your work brings. My last few years at the university, I'd barely talk to my husband when I got home in the evening, all my physical and social energy spent on the job. I hope you can find ways to recharge, to nurture yourself, in the years you have left to work. materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-36822187957648004972017-02-23T06:57:45.925-08:002017-02-23T06:57:45.925-08:00Yes, exactly. We must choose, but we have the priv...Yes, exactly. We must choose, but we have the privilege of being able to choose. <br />You see my last year as I do. It was so taken up with the "job" of moving (twice!) that I don't think it quite counts as a year of retirement. Hence my efforts to figure out how to start this next bit of my life. materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-89669805377365768362017-02-23T06:55:30.296-08:002017-02-23T06:55:30.296-08:00The simplicity of your lovely opening sentence get...The simplicity of your lovely opening sentence gets a bit battered by all what you have going on in your life at the moment. Something like what was going on for me with my first year of retirement when a simple wish to rest and relax after years of a too-heavy schedule bumped into a decision to move, a daughter's health scare, etc. etc. But I hope that now the slow enjoyment can begin -- and I hope it's not long before yours does as well. (I must say, though, that so far I haven't often seen you, via your blog, exercising your freedom to do nothing ;-) materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-82464416952519480102017-02-22T01:29:25.673-08:002017-02-22T01:29:25.673-08:00Meant to add ...such beautiful pictures ... watchi...Meant to add ...such beautiful pictures ... watching the plants on your terrace start to "awaken" hopefully you'll soon have lots of colour to look out at.<br />RosieRosiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15718521437964866609noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-46178443454442605652017-02-22T01:27:14.901-08:002017-02-22T01:27:14.901-08:00I started to leave a quick comment but then someho...I started to leave a quick comment but then somehow lost it all! I haven't much time at the moment as I'm holidaying with family. Some, who are already up in the mountains whilst I'm still in the valley ... Literally!! There's nothing like the combination of sun and snow to make me "just want to get out there" and feel so very happy. Consequently I have little time to reply in detail at the moment but I would like to say "thank you" to you all for enabling me to reflect on my life at a greater depth and not just let the days pass by ... I feel, thanks to Frances, that we have discussions here about things that my friends and I simply don't discuss ...such as how we may live the last decades of our lives ...<br />Thanks again to you all ...I hope that your day is going well!<br />RosieRosiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15718521437964866609noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-64443827389309565752017-02-21T16:42:22.917-08:002017-02-21T16:42:22.917-08:00I love Eleonore's reference to Robert Frost...I love Eleonore's reference to Robert Frost's poem; we had it read at our wedding by a dear friend. And how true it has been for our almost 30 year marriage & our lives together. And I have heard the same from my retired friends. It takes time to find the rhythm that brings the most satisfaction.<br />I find it fascinating how all the present and past educators are writing about how hard working in the field has become. I am absolutely bone tired when I return home. I am usually the last one out of the building at night. So much for the 8-3 schedule I heard about in university! Education has become so laden with "stuff," I find that the teaching part is only a fraction of what I actually do. <br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16879695097809867720noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-59838967272009593092017-02-21T12:51:48.035-08:002017-02-21T12:51:48.035-08:00In the end it is the Reobert Frost dilemma all ove...In the end it is the Reobert Frost dilemma all over again, isn't it? There are so many roads through the wood, but even when retired we can only travel one at a time. The privilege is the free choice, however. So we can either take a path which is enjoyable in itself, or we can choose one which will take us to a certain place (like learning a language or acquiring a skill). <br />As for the difficulties of decision making, all the wise people I have been talking to tell me that it takes at least a year, problably more, to find a new rhythm after retirment. I suggest your last year does not count and you are just starting. So give yourself time!Eleonorenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-54201305010420457612017-02-21T12:02:59.494-08:002017-02-21T12:02:59.494-08:00I just want to enjoy life, slowly, in my own littl...I just want to enjoy life, slowly, in my own little spot of earth, and share life freely with those who cross my path. I am increasingly ok not doing things, except that at the moment I am in a fit of doing: tasks required to get a house ready to move in, getting another house ready to sell and so forth and so on. I'm less ambitious about it than I was a few years ago however.<br /><br />Today I just unmulched my front flower bed after the grounds crew for the complex threw 6 inches of mulch uniformly over everything, bulbs, spring perennials that were coming up etc. Although my new place will undoubtedly be more work, the decisions as to what and when will be purely mine, including the freedom to do nothing should I so desire.Mardelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04850551308931710502noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-85700976151750168372017-02-21T10:43:43.145-08:002017-02-21T10:43:43.145-08:00Exactly -- you can, and obviously do, get on that ...Exactly -- you can, and obviously do, get on that train, while others might choose not to be distracted from other goals they've set. My reality is that I can quite happily stay on my own for fairly long periods (I've easily done four or five days in our island home, going out for my run or if I'm desperate for groceries, but otherwise very content with my own company, my books, my knitting, etc.) -- so that to have the friends in the first place, I have to make some conscious choices and keep in mind that trade-offs will be worthwhile. <br />I love your last paragraph -- it's quite wonderful having this privilege, isn't it?!materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-28952790805743865562017-02-21T09:49:21.224-08:002017-02-21T09:49:21.224-08:00re your "I might argue": I cannot set a ...re your "I might argue": I cannot set a priority for myself that my friend survive this but (and I will guess this is what you imply) I can choose to get on a train and see her now, because I have the time and it's absolutely paramount to me.<br /><br />The good part about being retired is that thinkers have time to ponder and spontaneous sorts can just follow their whims and there is no performance review or promotion hanging in the balance, just one's own satisfaction.Duchessehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09986153653120526776noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-9242008579139361582017-02-21T07:25:37.338-08:002017-02-21T07:25:37.338-08:00Well, your last post makes it clear that despite y...Well, your last post makes it clear that despite your generally no-nonsense attitude, you "worry" the possibilities to bits, as I tend to. Luckily our pragmatic sides usually smack our "too much in our heads" sides into sensible action, but . . . . the Aga in the Cotswolds will probably remain a distant dream (much as I enjoy a JT novel for her characters, their recognisable dilemmas of familiy life, I've been known to roll an eyeball or two at her endings).materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-66134446162315482482017-02-21T07:22:09.389-08:002017-02-21T07:22:09.389-08:00I'd say these two cents are worth quite a few ...I'd say these two cents are worth quite a few dolars ;-)<br />It sounds as if you're making the most of retirement -- did you know, as you wound down your career, that you'd pursue your art as first priority? And did you wait until you were done before putting that pursuit in motion? Or did you need months just to unwind, perhaps to organise? materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-9754337128116609412017-02-21T07:19:52.427-08:002017-02-21T07:19:52.427-08:00I love what you say about the luck to be able to d...I love what you say about the luck to be able to devote the time to the garden, but also to have been able to neglect it. I think there's so much happiness to be found in recognising that we have and make choices (if we're so privileged/lucky).materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-10075033102477310902017-02-21T07:18:37.179-08:002017-02-21T07:18:37.179-08:00That's very much what I was trying to do the l...That's very much what I was trying to do the last few years of work. I found it really hard to find that work-life balance in a job that really consumed all during term. But I think it's really important to do that, if you can. Otherwise, at least for me, much as I loved the job, I began to resent having to put everything else aside, when it was increasingly obvious that the high-energy years were dwindling. I applaud your determination to keep work in perspective and to find time for the other parts of You to "have a life."materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-13110412181137689282017-02-21T07:13:23.071-08:002017-02-21T07:13:23.071-08:00A lawn and hedge are good place-holders for the ga...A lawn and hedge are good place-holders for the garden I know you'll someday have, when the time is right. . . (I'm over your way soon -- will email)materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-64354192282424532442017-02-21T07:12:19.746-08:002017-02-21T07:12:19.746-08:00You do make retirement look wonderful -- I think t...You do make retirement look wonderful -- I think this is what mine would have been like if we'd stayed where we were on the island, and I hope it will approximate an urban version of same as I settle into it, although perhaps with less emphasis on the domestic. I do think I'll sort out a pattern eventually -- you're a great inspiration, thanks!materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-85881984491517989992017-02-21T07:10:27.696-08:002017-02-21T07:10:27.696-08:00Thanks for the reminder of all the work I used to ...Thanks for the reminder of all the work I used to do in the garden. And quite honestly, it was getting to the point where it needed some real overhauling that I wasn't much interested in doing. Have fun in those trenches!materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-8217547020770625052017-02-21T07:09:26.324-08:002017-02-21T07:09:26.324-08:00I'm with you -- I'm very well aware of enc...I'm with you -- I'm very well aware of encroaching mortality and of how little control we have, how much we should focus instead on the present, on what's most important. And I think for the most part you and I do that reasonably well. However, we're pretty much wired to "live too much in our heads," and I don't see much value in beating ourselves up about that. We are who we are, right?materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-35643334164620021602017-02-21T07:00:08.286-08:002017-02-21T07:00:08.286-08:00The core of my work was a vocation rather than a j...The core of my work was a vocation rather than a job as well, except that the job part got to be overwhelming and exhausting (as is true for so many in academia these days, a constant cry of "recruitment and retention" accompanying an equally constant budget-cutting). If only we could find more ways to allow satisfying part-time work which would accommodate the balance of domestic life that you've found. You're very fortunate, but I'm sure you worked to create your good fortune. Well done!materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-41952986993729208032017-02-21T06:57:05.886-08:002017-02-21T06:57:05.886-08:00These bouts with mortality come increasingly often...These bouts with mortality come increasingly often these days, and they always remind us sharply of what's really important. At the same time, though, I might argue that "being here" and having our friends here a while longer -- or even having/keeping those friends in the first place -- has to do with the priorities we set. I'm flexible enough to "make up as I go" to a certain extent, but for me it's also important to set some basic parameters, to have some clear guidelines to help me sort a plethora of interests and opportunities. You're very fortunate if you are always able to do this on the spot, but the discernment and the ability to say "No" don't always come so easily to me.materfamiliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062766947897513369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-69098263988590446582017-02-21T01:10:21.215-08:002017-02-21T01:10:21.215-08:00How very, very timely. I don't know if I am r...How very, very timely. I don't know if I am retired, between jobs, responsible or just hanging about aimlessly. At heart, I echo Duchesse and her simple desire just to be alive and kicking but it seems so very difficult to achieve. It amuses me to think that,when I was young, I thought I'd have it all worked out by now. As if I were a character in a Joanna Trollope novel - having been through a mire of family problems, I'd be sitting by an Aga and gazing serenely out at my Cotswold garden. Life just goes on throwing up hitches and glitches and expectations like it always did. Present situation: holding pattern, like a full plane endlessly circling the runway, waiting to land. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904021173466473381.post-9811873312790124982017-02-20T21:44:46.187-08:002017-02-20T21:44:46.187-08:00Hi there. Not much for chiming in (most of the tim...Hi there. Not much for chiming in (most of the time) but on this posting I thought I'd just voice my two cents. I've been retired for 4 years now. After 40 years as a nurse and nurse practitioner I'm happy to become selfish and return to my passion which is art. As far as years remaining, I hope to have 10 more good ones--maybe a wee bit more. If I'm lucky my husband and I will travel a bit more too. No grandkids. If we end up with grandkids we'll probably be too old to appreciate them! I do love reading your blog and seeing what you're up to. sallyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06806047379435354835noreply@blogger.com