Talking over all these changes on the boat ride home in the dark, we knew ourselves to be fortunate even as we contemplated that lost youth. That sense of comfort evaporated, though, once got in the house to find a voicemail message from one of our daughters, a message obviously delivered through tears which obscured content. But she didn't say she needed us to call her back and it was after midnight, so instead we went to bed worrying about whether it was boyfriend troubles or work troubles. Those of you have adult children will know that this level of worrying never leaves -- the parenting gig truly is a lifelong commitment.
This morning, she didn't pick up when I called, so I left a message hoping she was feeling a bit better, giving her my love, and telling her I was available to chat whenever she wanted.
The point of this Shaggy Dog story? Girl just called to tell me that last night's call was simply a daughter-mother reachout, calling to share the tears at last night's episode of Grey's Anatomy. Knowing I'm addicted as well, assuming I was not answering the phone 'cause I didn't want to be distracted during showtime, she just let loose a wildness of tears about the whole Izzie situation (will say no more for fear of spoilage). Pretty funny -- and another indication that maybe I could "stand down" just a bit, relinquish a little bit more sense of responsibility, trust that the kids can solve their own problems. Replace worrying with laughing whenever possible? Sign me up!
These photos of a Clematis alpina are very similar to ones I posted last year -- I love this reminder of other configurations of time than the linear one I saw manifest so clearly last night. Nice to know that while some experiences are gone forever along with my youth, others will circle round year after year.
How are you aware of time in your life these days?